| The end of the world is near. The first sign was the | | | | compact truck, not a Ford SuperDuty. |
| influx of the "sensitive man." Then came the | | | | MP3 capable? Dual-zone temperature control? DVD |
| man-purse. Recently, male skin-care products, | | | | entertainment system?!?!? What kind of Ford truck |
| MANicures, and male waxing have cut through the | | | | owner wants his kids to watch Spongebob in his |
| testosterone and invaded into a world once | | | | truck? |
| dominated by football and spitting. | | | | There is no place to put a thermos or to snub out |
| The 2008 Ford Super Duties are TOO comfortable. | | | | cigars. These have been replaced by cupholders |
| A diesel is supposed to roar. You should hear it (and | | | | made for Starbucks cups and a place to put an iPod. |
| smell it) well before you can see it. The new 6.4L | | | | The last I checked, Ford truck owners didn't need |
| diesel is quieter than a 1985 Honda Civic engine. Ford | | | | any kinds of pods, especially iPods. |
| says they tested it for 10,000,000 miles. They say it | | | | The adjustment of the center console is terrible. It is |
| has more horsepower and torque than its | | | | now made to hold a laptop. If there's a laptop, where |
| predecessor. But if you can't hear it (and smell it) I | | | | would anyone put their cassettes? |
| find it hard to believe it would pull a 12 ton 5th-wheel. | | | | The biggest insult to manhood, though, is the huge |
| They added a tailgate step. What were they | | | | DVD-based Navigation system. Real men who drive |
| thinking? Real men climb up into the bed, then jump | | | | real trucks never get lost and never need directions. |
| down from 8 feet if necessary (onto glass and | | | | Just having the directions there with some voice |
| barefoot, of course). Those who need a step to get | | | | telling you where to go is enough reason to go retro. |
| into the bed should be driving a gas powered import | | | | |